Lessons learned from holding on too tightly.

If I could use one word to describe the way I’ve been feeling lately, it would be discombobulated. It’s been two years since we were in full lockdown in the UK. Life has changed for us all and whether we know it or not, it’s affected us on a tissue level. The fear, anxiety and stress went deep because we had to brace ourselves and now we’re living with constant uncertainty from the virus, the economy, the climate and the war in Ukraine.

I didn’t realise until my back went into spasm, just how much I had been holding on; quite literally bracing myself. I leapt from one crisis to another - the pandemic, the death of my father in law, the stress of starting a new course, deadlines and learning difficulties, keeping my business afloat and family issues; it all led to my becoming dissociated from myself.

I had known I needed to put the breaks on. I needed to stop, recentre and ground myself. I needed to feel what was happening on the inside, but my course exams were looming and I kept saying “not yet.” So my body floored me! That’s how it works energetically. “Now you’re listening aren’t you,” it said.

It’s been a humbling experience, not least because I know that what I do (or rather, don’t do) affects others. As Brene Brown would put it, I’ve been doing my best. And as I type this, the little gremlin in the back of my mind just said, “Yes, but your best isn’t good enough is it?” My job now is to silence that gremlin with kindness and self compassion.

The tools I learnt studying Yoga Therapy for the Mind will help me. As I say to my clients who take the De-Stress your Mid-Life course, these tools are life long skills that we will return to over and over again. To be human is to be fallible. But the most important thing is that we learn from our mistakes. And my mistake was not prioritising self care.

So lessons learned are:

• Doing your best is good enough.

• Taking time every day for self care is not selfish, but invaluable.

• Celebrate every success, no matter how small.

• Ask for help when you need it.

• The boys are capable of looking after themselves, so let them!

I hope in some way, you resonate with some of this and find it useful to hear my story.

How stress gets in the way of peri-menopause

At the risk of repeating myself… This is so important!

When we are adjusting to the hormone changes in our body, stress becomes more of a burden than we realise. Why? Because the adrenal glands are responsible for secreting stress hormones. But they are also responsible for mimicking oestrogen by creating oestrone. So while the adrenals are busy trying to maintain homeostasis for our endocrine system, they cannot cope with stress.

Have you noticed that if you get stressed, you burn out more easily?

What can you do about it? Restorative Yoga! Seriously, it has the most astonishing effect on the body. By propping yourself in such a way that your body is supported; held safely and securely, your nervous system can relax.

If you were to practice a restorative pose every day, you would cope better with stress. Why not have a one to one to learn 3 poses to suit your lifestyle so that you can practice something every day?

Look after your Adrenal Glands and they'll take care of you!

The adrenal glands sit on top of each of your kidneys. They play a vital role in your body, secreting hormones that are essential for life, stress hormones that also act as neurotransmitters, sending messages to your nervous system and sex hormones.

Here are just a few examples of hormones produced by the adrenal glands:

Aldosterone is responsible for maintaining the body’s salt and water levels which in turn regulates blood pressure.
Cortisol responds to illness and and helps regulate body metabolism. Cortisol stimulates glucose production and has significant anti-inflammatory effects.
Adrenaline, noradrenaline and small amounts of dopamine are responsible for all the physiological characteristics
of the stress response, the so called 'fight or flight' response.
Testosterone plays an important role in sexual arousal, sexual response, libido, bone strength, cardiovascular health, cognitive performance, energy levels and well-being in women. 

In a stress response, adrenaline increases your heart rate, elevates your blood pressure and increases energy supplies. Cortisol dampens all non-essential functions in a fight and flight situation. It alters immune system responses and suppresses the digestive system, the reproductive system and growth processes. Natures alarm system communicates with regions of your brain that control mood, motivation and fear.

Once a perceived threat has passed, hormone levels return to normal. But in the case of chronic perceived stress, the adrenal glands persistently secrete hormones and become fatigued resulting in a potentially dangerous situation. Initially you may experience some of the following:

• Depression

• Anxiety

• Digestive problems

• Headaches

• Sleep problems

• Weight gain

• Memory and concentration impairment

During peri-menopause the adrenal glands produce a hormone that mimics oestrogen. With already diminishing oestrogen levels, exhausted adrenal glands cannot produce adequate amounts adding to the already ageing affects of low oestrogen levels. Long term adrenal fatigue can also result in lower levels of testosterone; lowering libido, thinning bones, damaging cardiovascular health, causing cognitive impairment and low evergy levels.

More serious conditions of adrenal fatigue are overproduction of aldosterone causing treatment resistant high blood pressure. The adrenals may become overactive resulting in Cushing’s Syndrome. Underactive adrenals may result in Addison’s disease. You can do your own research into these diseases if you want to. But I want to highlight that stress should be treated seriously rather than being ignored or dismissed as something to deal with later.

Lifestyle changes may be required; even a change of career! I’m sure you know the score by now, but just in case:

• Deal with any unresolved trauma through counseling.

• Get regular exercise (overexercising is stressful on the body so take it easy).

• Eat a healthy diet.

• Practice relaxation techniques or take up yoga.

• Take time for hobbies.

• Spend time in nature.

• Make time for friends.

• Take action to improve quality of sleep.

Stay well.