The importance of a safe space for women to be vulnerable.

Following the horrific murder of Sarah Everard and the ensuing conversations around women’s safety, I had an emotional conversation with my daughter. Both of us have experienced some kind of sexual violation during our lives. I felt as though I walked around with ‘victim’ on my forehead for unscrupulous men to approach me so often. I wouldn’t enter a shop if only a male sales assistant was inside. I never enjoyed parties for fear that once men were drunk, I was vulnerable. I lived in fear of men for years but count myself lucky to have had some wonderful and close male friends.

It doesn’t matter how ‘insignificant’ the attack on a woman is, she is going to be disempowered by it. A small part of you is stolen with every wolf whistle, leude comment, uninvited touch, grope or sexual assault.

Maybe I should have spoken about this years ago but the time wasn’t right. My experiences were the reason behind Birchwood Yoga. It was Yoga and Mindfulness that made the biggest difference to my healing. I had dissociated from my body where the trauma had been held for decades. And it was getting back in touch with myself in a safe environment that lead me to train as a Yoga teacher and Yoga Therapist for mental health.

When looking for a Yoga class, I discovered that this too was an uncomfortable experience if men were present and I was uncomfortable working with men during my Yoga training. Luckily my tutors looked out for me and I knew they had my back. Even though I taught men in the first few years after setting up my business, I realised that what I wanted was to offer an all female space where women could practice with a sense of safety, support and community.

There is no denying that some Yoga poses are exposing for both sexes. I want women to know that they can feel comfortable practicing happy baby pose or a wide legged forward bend. I want them to know that they will not be judged if they accidentally fart or experience leakage, that they can have a sweaty hot flush or cry and that they will be left alone to do so or cared for if needed.

I want to be clear that Birchwood Yoga is a safe space for women where they are surrounded by nature and not the hustle and bustle of other people to startle you or prevent you from switching off. It is a space where they can step outside after their class and take a deep breath of peace before they step back into the busyness of the day. Women are held with my full support and awareness and they can talk to me if they need to and trust that it is in confidence. I am a very good reader of body language and I will sometimes redirect a woman if I believe she needs more than I can give her; because it just doesn’t do to put up with feeling uncomfortable in a Yoga class.

I have to thank Tina Corbett for holding the space in her classes for me to connect to the discomfort and feel safe enough to do so. It was Tina who encouraged me to train and who held my hand through the journey.