Be where you are now, then slow down.
/‘Be where you are now’ has become the mantra I offer my students. It is an invitation to be curious and accept things as they are in the moment.
To my mind, acceptance is the most valuable of the seven attitudinal foundations of mindfulness. The other six being:
• Non judging
• Patience
• Trust
• Non striving
• Letting go
• Beginners mind
Being where you are now or if you prefer, meeting yourself where you are, encourages you to practice self awareness.
When we spend our time rushing; whether it’s to get somewhere or to move onto the next thing, we don’t notice where we are in the moment. This could be physically and proprioceptively in terms of observing our surroundings and noticing where we are in space, emotionally and physiologically; what kind of mood state we’re in and how this is showing up in our body, or mentally; how busy or jumpy our mind is.
When we slow down, we give ourselves time to recognise whatever state we are in and to accept it. You may be thinking, “What if I don’t like what I feel? Why would I want to accept what’s uncomfortable?” Accepting gives permission for things to be just as they are. We can allow what we find to exist; bring it to the surface. This will inform us as to how we respond to a given situation. Only then can we make a choice.
Not accepting forces us to push away our feelings, to bury our heads in the sand and to avoid the reality. This only causes further suffering.
Accepting where you are now empowers you to make the changes necessary to restore equilibrium.
Here’s an example; I have a tendency, like many others, to need to feel safe. Because of this, I am quick to react. But when I listen to what I feel, how my mind is responding, what my bodily sensations are, I have choice. I can choose to listen and go with the reaction, or I can slow down, pay attention and in my case, recognise that this is just a reaction to a need. If I then pause, rationalise and breathe, I can potentially make a wiser choice which may be to allow the feelings of vulnerability to surface, recognise that need to feel safe but also see that I am safe and I have time to make a decision. By accepting where I am, I can make a considered decision rather than a rash one and perhaps a wise decision rather than one I may later regret.
Each of the seven attitudinal foundations of mindfulness is connected to the others. By beginning with acceptance we can let go of judgement, trust that we know what the right thing to do is, pause and be patient, (take a deep, slow, belly breath), stop striving (for safety), let go of whatever is holding us back (fear) or preventing us from being kinder to ourselves (judgement again) and switch off auto pilot.
I hope you find this helpful. If you would like to work with me on cultivating a more positive attitude to the things that hold you back, please get in touch.
Go well.
Anneliese