Take a pressure sabbatical.

Taking a full sabbatical from work is a luxury few of us can afford. But how about taking a sabbatical from pressure?

I’ve realised that expecting too much of myself causes me to suffer and burn out. When I allow perfectionism to dominate, nothing is good enough, and am my own worst critic. But I am the one putting pressure on myself, allowing the ‘shoulds’ to govern me.

So why do we pressure ourselves? Is it because we want recognition? Perhaps we want to do better, be the best, crave attention, want the next best thing, long for, lust after, covet, yearn. Do these actions make us happy? The things that really make us happy are those that fulfil our human needs: friends, family, community, health, nourishment, sleep, shelter, safety, enough wealth to survive and a little more to thrive. Enough.

When we feel stressed, it is often our own expectations getting in the way; the pressure we pile onto ourselves. We could be our own best friend instead of our own worst enemy. What would you do if your best friend told you they felt pressured and that it was making them sick? What advice would you give? Make a list and see what comes up as you read it through.

Here are some ideas I’ve had while taking a pressure sabbatical:

• Stepping away from social media. I’m not missing out on life because life’s right here… now.

• I’ve learned that I don’t have to make an excuse or give a reason when saying NO.

• I’m only doing the bare minimum.

• I’ve let perfectionism go. Enough is good enough.

• I step away as soon as I begin to feel overwhelmed. Space brings perspective. Time spent in nature soothes our nervous system so I feel even better for a walk.

• I am easily bored so instead of pressuring myself to focus on just one job, I have a few on the go at once. When I start to feel dullness or boredom, I switch jobs. This has been a revelation to me because I actually get more done!

• I have learned to ask for help and accept it when offered. Pride doesn’t get me anywhere.

• Timetabling is great for brain fog! it means I can tick off the jobs!

• Regular rest breaks are essential. Pushing on is pushing into burn out. Rest can be 3 minutes of pranayama, a little weeding, movement of any kind.

Remember, as Brene Brown says, “you are always doing the best you can,” so why pressure yourself to do more?

Leave a comment if you have any good ideas for easing pressure.

An exercise in adaptability.

Our ability to adapt to different situations depends very much on the individual. Some of us have a sensitive nervous system that requires nurturing. Others are more robust. The condition of our nervous system is determined to a degree by how stressed our mother was when we were in vitro but is also down to the amount of trauma and stress we have experienced in our life.

When we encounter a stressor, every system in our body responds. In order to return to a state of equilibrium (homeostasis), the nervous and endocrine systems have to adapt. We can help our internal recovery along by building mental strength and flexibility. Having a better understanding of ourselves promotes adaptability.

Write a list of circumstances which make you feel uncomfortable such as confrontation, being in a crowded space, driving on the motorway, meeting new people etc... Nothing triggering. As you write each one down, pause and notice how you feel in your body. What are the sensations? Where are they felt? Notice and be curious. Try not to analyse or push them away.

Now visualise the same scenarios differently:

• Breathe deep down into your belly.

• See yourself with your shoulders rolled back, your chest open and your head straight.

• Clench your fists gently. Does that help you to feel more powerful? If it fuels anger, instead of pushing it away, notice where you feel it and how?

• Feel your feet on the ground and ‘root’ down.

• What other physical posture could you take?

• Make a positive affirmation such as, ‘I can do this’, or ‘I’ve got this.’

Write down how you feel. Check in with your mind, body and breath. You may find it helpful to practice this visualisation before every situation with which you are uncomfortable.

Low level stress actually helps us to adapt. Each time we cope with an uncomfortable situation, we feel empowered and become more resilient physiologically and mentally. To strengthen your ability to adapt:

• Step out of your comfort zone regularly.

• Notice, change and notice the change.

• Remember that thoughts are not facts.

• Never base your present fears on past experience; no two situations are the same.

• Be prepared to bend your own rules be more flexible; your way isn’t the only way.

• Acceptance empowers you.

• Do not allow failure to stop you. We learn from our mistakes.

Here are some other tools which you may find helpful:

• Slow down - taking life at a slower pace allows us be aware of our experience and to recuperate from the challenges.

• Keep a journal - writing down our feelings helps put things into perspective.

• Practice gratitude - the brain has a negativity bias so force yourself to recollect the positives.

• Spend time in nature regularly; it is proven to calm and ground us.

If you feel you need some support on your journey, I’m here to help. Why not book a Clarity Call and we can chat confidentially about how to take you forwards.