An exercise in adaptability.

Our ability to adapt to different situations depends very much on the individual. Some of us have a sensitive nervous system that requires nurturing. Others are more robust. The condition of our nervous system is determined to a degree by how stressed our mother was when we were in vitro but is also down to the amount of trauma and stress we have experienced in our life.

When we encounter a stressor, every system in our body responds. In order to return to a state of equilibrium (homeostasis), the nervous and endocrine systems have to adapt. We can help our internal recovery along by building mental strength and flexibility. Having a better understanding of ourselves promotes adaptability.

Write a list of circumstances which make you feel uncomfortable such as confrontation, being in a crowded space, driving on the motorway, meeting new people etc... Nothing triggering. As you write each one down, pause and notice how you feel in your body. What are the sensations? Where are they felt? Notice and be curious. Try not to analyse or push them away.

Now visualise the same scenarios differently:

• Breathe deep down into your belly.

• See yourself with your shoulders rolled back, your chest open and your head straight.

• Clench your fists gently. Does that help you to feel more powerful? If it fuels anger, instead of pushing it away, notice where you feel it and how?

• Feel your feet on the ground and ‘root’ down.

• What other physical posture could you take?

• Make a positive affirmation such as, ‘I can do this’, or ‘I’ve got this.’

Write down how you feel. Check in with your mind, body and breath. You may find it helpful to practice this visualisation before every situation with which you are uncomfortable.

Low level stress actually helps us to adapt. Each time we cope with an uncomfortable situation, we feel empowered and become more resilient physiologically and mentally. To strengthen your ability to adapt:

• Step out of your comfort zone regularly.

• Notice, change and notice the change.

• Remember that thoughts are not facts.

• Never base your present fears on past experience; no two situations are the same.

• Be prepared to bend your own rules be more flexible; your way isn’t the only way.

• Acceptance empowers you.

• Do not allow failure to stop you. We learn from our mistakes.

Here are some other tools which you may find helpful:

• Slow down - taking life at a slower pace allows us be aware of our experience and to recuperate from the challenges.

• Keep a journal - writing down our feelings helps put things into perspective.

• Practice gratitude - the brain has a negativity bias so force yourself to recollect the positives.

• Spend time in nature regularly; it is proven to calm and ground us.

If you feel you need some support on your journey, I’m here to help. Why not book a Clarity Call and we can chat confidentially about how to take you forwards.

Can you be too self aware?

One of the best things about Yoga is becoming more self aware. But is it possible to become too self aware? Self awareness can sometimes be perceived as narcissism. I think there are levels of self awareness, with disassociation at one end and narcissism at the other. In the middle is a healthy balance. So how do you get there?

Disassociation is common when you have spent your life trying to avoid painful feelings; likely from a traumatic experience or chronic stress. The brain’s way of protecting you from the pain is to keep the body in freeze mode and prevent you from feeling. To move beyond this may require talking therapy but at some point we need to connect with the physical feelings in the body. The process can be slow and disquieting but with safety measures in place, the end result is knowing yourself, understanding what these feelings mean and being resourced with skills to manage overwhelm and restore homeostasis.

If we navigate this road mindfully, we can find that middle ground. We can recognise what the body and mind require before it becomes overwhelming and if it does (which it will; life has a way of throwing us a curve ball sometimes), we can learn to be with the experience, not to resist it.

We move into narcissism when we over analyse; spend too much time wondering why we experience one feeling or another and endlessly talking about it. It’s a bit like googling every symptom you have and believing you are ill; the modern form of hypochondria and it’s boring for everyone around you. I know, I’ve been there! And you might too if you’ve been mentally unwell. It’s part of the natural process of getting to know yourself again. The important thing is recognising when to back off and return to the middle ground.

The beauty of being self aware is in the wisdom of the body. When you stay present to your experience, the body will guide you. When I get on my mat, I let my body and my energy guide me to where it needs to go. With support, time and practice, you can too. It’s an amazing place to be and very rewarding too!

Stress - Begin Where You Are.

It only has to take one event to trigger a complete change in your breathing habit. You might always have breathed in your belly (although you were probably not aware of this), then one day you were traumatised by a major stressor. This could be anything that put you into an immediate stress response, from a traumatic event to being yelled at. How your body responds is what is important here.

Commonly with the stress response, your breath shifts from belly to chest. You want to pull air into your lungs so that oxygen can be sent to your heart rapidly, enabling you to fight or flee from the threat. In a healthy system, once the threat is over, the stress response is switched off and breathing returns to the belly.

In modern society where we are constantly under threat on a psychological and physiological basis, the stress response can be triggered again and again in a single day. So what happens? The breath gets stuck in your chest and whether you feel stressed or not, your body thinks you are and keeps you in the stress response.

With so much threat around us, how do we know that we are stuck in the stress response? There are too many signs to list, but here are some things to look out for:

• Being easily startled.

• Constant doing - restlessness.

• Eyes darting around.

• Constant chatter.

• Rushing.

• Low pain tolerance.

• Consistent tension in the back of the skull, jaw, neck or shoulders.

• Feeling regularly overwhelmed.

• Sensory overload - sensitivity to light and sound in particular.

• Over-thinking and spending too much time in the head.

• Consistent chest breathing and pulling of the breath.

• Mouth breathing.

• Difficulty with concentration and focus.

• Listlessness, exhaustion or fatigue.

Sound familiar? Whatever you do, DON’T carry on as you are! Stress is not your friend. The stress hormones that are constantly rampaging around your body can do serious damage to your health. Now is the time to implement self care.

If you find that your mind is busy, busy, busy, you might need to begin with movement. A simple routine like the cat sequence I frequently teach can be a good place to begin. Don’t worry about the breathing but do notice the contact your body has with the floor.

If you are overwhelmed, begin at your feet. Notice them, feel them on the ground and if that is difficult, massage them so that you really feel the sensations in your feet. Squeezing the arms and legs can be useful if you feel disconnected from yourself.

If you can cope with stillness, concentrate on your breath. Sound is the easiest way of making the shift from chest breathing to belly breathing. It doesn’t matter what it is but you could try, sss, fff, ahh, brr. Sound that can loosen a tense jaw is brilliant!

Practice breathing through your nose as often as possible. It took a single event to alter your breath; it is possible to change it back within 24 hours. It just takes practice. Mouth breathing or shallow breathing reduces the amount of Carbon Dioxide (CO2) you take in. CO2 is necessary for vaso-dilation (dilating your blood vessels) which allows for oxygen uptake. Without this, blood vessels constrict which means the flow of blood is slowed leading to potential complications. Red blood cells hang on to oxygen when CO2 is low, therefore the body’s cells are not receiving enough oxygen to thrive.

If after reading this you start to panic, STOP! This is life and you are not alone. Stuff gets in the way of self care. But now you understand the importance of taking time for yourself and addressing the issue, begin where you are.

If you need support on your journey, do get in touch.

Yoga, Pranayama or Mindfulness?

Is it exercise you are after? Yoga then. But if you are seeking a particular state of mind, which practice is going to give you the desired affect? Let me tell you about my experience of both yoga and mindfulness and then I will offer some facts.

At the time I first experienced a Scaravelli inspired yoga class, I was suffering from mental illness. I had been dissociated from parts of my body for many years. Tina, the teacher gave us time to explore and experience the gentle movement, the stronger poses, the challenges. So focussed was I on my body and breath that I felt a different person by the end of a class to the one who had arrived on the mat 90 minutes earlier.

When I practice now I am present to sensations in my body and deeply focussed on the movement of my breath within me; the flow of the breath, those moments when it feels right to move with the inhalation and with the exhalation. For the most part, my mind is quiet. And surely this is what we want isn't it? To quiet the mind. 

Well yes and no. Sure there are times when we just need a moment of peace; to escape the business of the mind. And for me, this was vital in the past. Movement enabled me to be with my body as it switched off any anxiety or suffering. It gave me pleasure to be able to feel my body and to be left with a feeling of such calmness. To be honest, it was probably the only time when I truly relaxed.

When I began training in Scaravelli inspired yoga however, I had to practice pranayama; breathing practices. This meant sitting still, being with my breath, being quiet. Pranayama was not for me. I wanted to leap of the mat. I felt vulnerable and afraid. I didn't like the sensations that arose. They made me super anxious and I almost redeveloped the dissociative patterns I felt I had been leaving behind. If someone else was guiding me, I could practice. In class the practice was short and relaxing but at home, alone, it was terrifying. 

How did I overcome this? I had to practice pranayama in order to teach it. So I integrated it into my yoga practice. I would begin moving gently; say in cat pose. Using Ujjayi with the asana I could tune in to the wave of the breath and begin to feel relaxed. Maybe I could sit for a few minutes after some movement and practice Ujjayi alone for a couple of minutes. Then I might do some more asana and try Kapalabhati. Further asana and perhaps I could sit for a brief period practicing Alternate Nostril Breathing or Viloma and so it went on. It was an asana, pranayama sandwich situation!

It was when I trained with the Minded Institute that the challenge of Pranayama became greatest for me. We were to practice pranayama every day. Initially this was horrendous and once again anxiety reared its ugly head. I hadn't realised that Kapalabhati stimulated the Sympathetic Nervous system. No wonder I hadn't enjoyed it before. But sandwiched between two pranayama that stimulated the Parasympathetic Nervous System; Ujjayi and Alternate Nostril Breathing and I began to cope. I even managed Khumbhaka which previously virtually brought on a panic attack!

Finally I could use Ujjayi during my Yoga practice and sit at the end for pranayama without any uncomfortable feelings and this made me feel great! What do I mean by that? Well, calm, relaxed, still, balanced, grounded, stable. But how was my mind? Well, it still chattered. It was still critical at times and frequently very busy.

I found that in spite of a daily yoga practice I could not switch off the guilt or the shame or the worry or anxiety, particularly around money or that constantly going over a situation I felt I had not dealt with well. Sound familiar?

Now I practiced mindfulness during this time, but in short bursts and not consistently. The practices I had learned with the Minded Institute were and are fabulous for the short term; to alleviate symptoms.

I began to practice Mindfulness as a stand alone practice, on and off. More off than on! I need discipline; a reason for doing something even if it does make me feel better. I wrote a mindfulness journal on Facebook which helps apart from the fact that rather than truly being with my experience I was considering how I might put it into words!

In 2016 I trained with Clear Mind Institute in Mindfulness for Yoga. In other words I learned and practiced the Mindfulness techniques used in a Mindfulness Based Intervention programme (MBI) but only to the degree that I could teach them within a yoga class; not as an actual MBI.

It wasn't until this point that I realised the true potential that a daily Mindfulness practice can unlock. I would consider my yoga journey to have been remarkably healing. However it was the mindfulness that really allowed me to unlock my true self. I had to learn to sit with the uncomfortable. And whereas previously I would leap off the mat and run away from it; now I could remain with it. I could widen that container of experience to be with the side of myself that I did not like. To learn to recognise when that side of me arose and to do something about it. To silence the critical mind. To let go of guilt, shame and worry.

Now I am not going to pretend to be perfect. None of us are. I find myself believing that I have too much to do and cannot afford the time to sit for 30 - 45 minutes a day. But boy do I notice a difference when I don't practice! 

When I maintain a regular mindfulness practice, I am calm. I can deal with difficult situations. I can cope with stress in a rational manner. I can even pause before I speak which is a huge leap forward for me. Although I still can't do this consistently with my family. What is it about family? They are the hardest to be mindful around because they know which buttons to push. But over time and with practice, even this will be easier. Even I will be able to pause, remain calm and consider the right way of speaking my mind.

Mindfulness has been the cherry on the cake for me. Yoga is a lifestyle now. I cannot live without it but nor can I live without Mindfulness. I really need it in my daily life whereas I don't feel terrible if I haven't practiced yoga for a few days. So Yoga, Pranayama or Mindfulness? Well it has to be all three. I couldn't have made this transition without the journey. Sometimes we do need to quiet the mind. Sometimes we do need to make physical changes to the way the body feels and we can practice yoga with mindful awareness. But in order to change the way WE feel, the SELF; it has to be mindfulness. When I maintain a daily mindfulness practice I feel I am my true self. And I like myself!