Lessons learned from holding on too tightly.

If I could use one word to describe the way I’ve been feeling lately, it would be discombobulated. It’s been two years since we were in full lockdown in the UK. Life has changed for us all and whether we know it or not, it’s affected us on a tissue level. The fear, anxiety and stress went deep because we had to brace ourselves and now we’re living with constant uncertainty from the virus, the economy, the climate and the war in Ukraine.

I didn’t realise until my back went into spasm, just how much I had been holding on; quite literally bracing myself. I leapt from one crisis to another - the pandemic, the death of my father in law, the stress of starting a new course, deadlines and learning difficulties, keeping my business afloat and family issues; it all led to my becoming dissociated from myself.

I had known I needed to put the breaks on. I needed to stop, recentre and ground myself. I needed to feel what was happening on the inside, but my course exams were looming and I kept saying “not yet.” So my body floored me! That’s how it works energetically. “Now you’re listening aren’t you,” it said.

It’s been a humbling experience, not least because I know that what I do (or rather, don’t do) affects others. As Brene Brown would put it, I’ve been doing my best. And as I type this, the little gremlin in the back of my mind just said, “Yes, but your best isn’t good enough is it?” My job now is to silence that gremlin with kindness and self compassion.

The tools I learnt studying Yoga Therapy for the Mind will help me. As I say to my clients who take the De-Stress your Mid-Life course, these tools are life long skills that we will return to over and over again. To be human is to be fallible. But the most important thing is that we learn from our mistakes. And my mistake was not prioritising self care.

So lessons learned are:

  • Doing your best is good enough.

  • Taking time every day for self care is not selfish, but invaluable.

  • Celebrate every success, no matter how small.

  • Ask for help when you need it.

  • The boys are capable of looking after themselves, so let them!

I hope in some way, you resonate with some of this and find it useful to hear my story.

Cholesterol - friend or foe?

Have you been for your mid-life health check recently? Many women at this time of life are diagnosed with high cholesterol. There’s good reason for this and it’s important to understand why.

Cholesterol is manufactured in the liver. It is responsible for repairing damaged tissue. Steroid hormones such as oestrogen, progesterone and cortisol are derived from cholesterol. As oestrogen levels are lowering at mid-life, it is not unlikely that we will have raised levels of cholesterol which is more of a problem in conjunction with high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity or a genetic tendency to gain weight around the middle.

Cortisol is one of our stress hormones and its main role is to modulate inflammation. The body is unable to metabolise the amount of cortisol circulating when chronically stressed. Cortisol then becomes dysfunctional and the result is actually increased inflammation. Not only is cholesterol needed for greater cortisol production but also to repair any damage to the tissues as a result of inflammation.

Food intolerances are inflammatory and are common in women at mid-life. Arthritis and rheumatism are inflammatory conditions also. Higher levels of cholesterol is necessary for the body to derive cortisol whose role is to modulate inflammation in these circumstances. Remember that cortisol is our friend until it gets out of control.

Stress is often the root cause of dis-ease and disease and this certainly needs to be addressed. Downregulating an overactive nervous system and developing skills to manage stress can reduce cortisol and thereby lower cholesterol.

If like me, you prefer to find a natural solution before going down a medical road, consider whether there is a source of inflammation that could be the cause of high cholesterol. Address that and you may find your cholesterol levels lower. It is important to get them checked again to take a different course of action should it be sensible or necessary.

References:

https://www.uscjournal.com/articles/menopause-cholesterol-and-cardiovascular-disease-0#:~:text=Menopause%20is%20associated%20with%20a,%2Ddensity%20lipoprotein%20(HDL).

https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/how-its-made-cholesterol-production-in-your-body

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4263906/#:~:text=Cortisol%20is%20a%20potent%20anti,survival%20and%20avoidance%20of%20danger.

Why it's important to understand stress and know how to deal with it.

Why it's important to understand stress and know how to deal with it.

Acute stress, chronic stress and burnout are three separate states of stress. It’s important to know what they are so you know how to respond.

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Can you be too self aware?

One of the best things about Yoga is becoming more self aware. But is it possible to become too self aware? Self awareness can sometimes be perceived as narcissism. I think there are levels of self awareness, with disassociation at one end and narcissism at the other. In the middle is a healthy balance. So how do you get there?

Disassociation is common when you have spent your life trying to avoid painful feelings; likely from a traumatic experience or chronic stress. The brain’s way of protecting you from the pain is to keep the body in freeze mode and prevent you from feeling. To move beyond this may require talking therapy but at some point we need to connect with the physical feelings in the body. The process can be slow and disquieting but with safety measures in place, the end result is knowing yourself, understanding what these feelings mean and being resourced with skills to manage overwhelm and restore homeostasis.

If we navigate this road mindfully, we can find that middle ground. We can recognise what the body and mind require before it becomes overwhelming and if it does (which it will; life has a way of throwing us a curve ball sometimes), we can learn to be with the experience, not to resist it.

We move into narcissism when we over analyse; spend too much time wondering why we experience one feeling or another and endlessly talking about it. It’s a bit like googling every symptom you have and believing you are ill; the modern form of hypochondria and it’s boring for everyone around you. I know, I’ve been there! And you might too if you’ve been mentally unwell. It’s part of the natural process of getting to know yourself again. The important thing is recognising when to back off and return to the middle ground.

The beauty of being self aware is in the wisdom of the body. When you stay present to your experience, the body will guide you. When I get on my mat, I let my body and my energy guide me to where it needs to go. With support, time and practice, you can too. It’s an amazing place to be and very rewarding too!

Stress - Begin Where You Are.

It only has to take one event to trigger a complete change in your breathing habit. You might always have breathed in your belly (although you were probably not aware of this), then one day you were traumatised by a major stressor. This could be anything that put you into an immediate stress response, from a traumatic event to being yelled at. How your body responds is what is important here.

Commonly with the stress response, your breath shifts from belly to chest. You want to pull air into your lungs so that oxygen can be sent to your heart rapidly, enabling you to fight or flee from the threat. In a healthy system, once the threat is over, the stress response is switched off and breathing returns to the belly.

In modern society where we are constantly under threat on a psychological and physiological basis, the stress response can be triggered again and again in a single day. So what happens? The breath gets stuck in your chest and whether you feel stressed or not, your body thinks you are and keeps you in the stress response.

With so much threat around us, how do we know that we are stuck in the stress response? There are too many signs to list, but here are some things to look out for:

  • Being easily startled.

  • Constant doing - restlessness.

  • Eyes darting around.

  • Constant chatter.

  • Rushing.

  • Low pain tolerance.

  • Consistent tension in the back of the skull, jaw, neck or shoulders.

  • Feeling regularly overwhelmed.

  • Sensory overload - sensitivity to light and sound in particular.

  • Over-thinking and spending too much time in the head.

  • Consistent chest breathing and pulling of the breath.

  • Mouth breathing.

  • Difficulty with concentration and focus.

  • Listlessness, exhaustion or fatigue.

Sound familiar? Whatever you do, DON’T carry on as you are! Stress is not your friend. The stress hormones that are constantly rampaging around your body can do serious damage to your health. Now is the time to implement self care.

If you find that your mind is busy, busy, busy, you might need to begin with movement. A simple routine like the cat sequence I frequently teach can be a good place to begin. Don’t worry about the breathing but do notice the contact your body has with the floor.

If you are overwhelmed, begin at your feet. Notice them, feel them on the ground and if that is difficult, massage them so that you really feel the sensations in your feet. Squeezing the arms and legs can be useful if you feel disconnected from yourself.

If you can cope with stillness, concentrate on your breath. Sound is the easiest way of making the shift from chest breathing to belly breathing. It doesn’t matter what it is but you could try, sss, fff, ahh, brr. Sound that can loosen a tense jaw is brilliant!

Practice breathing through your nose as often as possible. It took a single event to alter your breath; it is possible to change it back within 24 hours. It just takes practice. Mouth breathing or shallow breathing reduces the amount of Carbon Dioxide (CO2) you take in. CO2 is necessary for vaso-dilation (dilating your blood vessels) which allows for oxygen uptake. Without this, blood vessels constrict which means the flow of blood is slowed leading to potential complications. Red blood cells hang on to oxygen when CO2 is low, therefore the body’s cells are not receiving enough oxygen to thrive.

If after reading this you start to panic, STOP! This is life and you are not alone. Stuff gets in the way of self care. But now you understand the importance of taking time for yourself and addressing the issue, begin where you are.

If you need support on your journey, do get in touch.

Look after your Adrenal Glands and they'll take care of you!

The adrenal glands sit on top of each of your kidneys. They play a vital role in your body, secreting hormones that are essential for life, stress hormones that also act as neurotransmitters, sending messages to your nervous system and sex hormones.

Here are just a few examples of hormones produced by the adrenal glands:

Aldosterone is responsible for maintaining the body’s salt and water levels which in turn regulates blood pressure.
Cortisol responds to illness and and helps regulate body metabolism. Cortisol stimulates glucose production and has significant anti-inflammatory effects.
Adrenaline, noradrenaline and small amounts of dopamine are responsible for all the physiological characteristics
of the stress response, the so called 'fight or flight' response.
Testosterone plays an important role in sexual arousal, sexual response, libido, bone strength, cardiovascular health, cognitive performance, energy levels and well-being in women. 

In a stress response, adrenaline increases your heart rate, elevates your blood pressure and increases energy supplies. Cortisol dampens all non-essential functions in a fight and flight situation. It alters immune system responses and suppresses the digestive system, the reproductive system and growth processes. Natures alarm system communicates with regions of your brain that control mood, motivation and fear.

Once a perceived threat has passed, hormone levels return to normal. But in the case of chronic perceived stress, the adrenal glands persistently secrete hormones and become fatigued resulting in a potentially dangerous situation. Initially you may experience some of the following:

  • Depression

  • Anxiety

  • Digestive problems

  • Headaches

  • Sleep problems

  • Weight gain

  • Memory and concentration impairment

During peri-menopause the adrenal glands produce a hormone that mimics oestrogen. With already diminishing oestrogen levels, exhausted adrenal glands cannot produce adequate amounts adding to the already ageing affects of low oestrogen levels. Long term adrenal fatigue can also result in lower levels of testosterone; lowering libido, thinning bones, damaging cardiovascular health, causing cognitive impairment and low evergy levels.

More serious conditions of adrenal fatigue are overproduction of aldosterone causing treatment resistant high blood pressure. The adrenals may become overactive resulting in Cushing’s Syndrome. Underactive adrenals may result in Addison’s disease. You can do your own research into these diseases if you want to. But I want to highlight that stress should be treated seriously rather than being ignored or dismissed as something to deal with later.

Lifestyle changes may be required; even a change of career! I’m sure you know the score by now, but just in case:

  • Deal with any unresolved trauma through counseling.

  • Get regular exercise (overexercising is stressful on the body so take it easy).

  • Eat a healthy diet.

  • Practice relaxation techniques or take up yoga.

  • Take time for hobbies.

  • Spend time in nature.

  • Make time for friends.

  • Take action to improve quality of sleep.

Stay well.